My Queer Identity In Christ
So, I came out as bisexual to my parents on Monday night. I’ve come out to all of my friends and even my wife’s family but I had been procrastinating on coming out to my own family because I know at least some of them wouldn’t understand or even try to and (even unintentionally) make me doubt my identity. I think this is a good opportunity to explore the idea of how my faith helps me to be sure of my queer identity and how my queerness, in turn, helps me to be strong in my faith.
It would be easy right now, while I’m vulnerable, for me to take the doubts of others and internalize them. It’s important instead for me to remind myself that my faith isn’t anchored to something as flimsy as human perceptions and opinions and neither is my identity.
“By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?” Matthew 7:16
To me, my queer identity is directly tied to my identity in Christ which comes from the faith I claim. I can recognize my faith by its “fruit”, specifically, by the love of God I experience when I’m around people who share my faith. The first time I attended my LGBTQ affirming church I felt the love of God and for the first time in a long time I felt at home. For once, I didn’t feel broken. It was the affirmation that this queer part of me that I couldn’t shake and couldn’t change no matter how much I tried, was something God Themself made and it wasn’t a mistake. As I kept attending, I felt more confident that I was both a Christian and certainly not straight, like those two parts of me were pieces of a puzzle I just needed to connect make both work.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”' Jeremiah 29:11
I’ve been to more services in the last couple of years after joining my church than I ever have since I stopped attending regularly at 16. I’ve prayed to God more than I have in my entire life. I feel closer to God and I feel like I’m closer to Their path for me. I believe it’s because I finally stopped running from the queer bisexual man that God created me to be. I finally gave up trying to appease conservative Christians who didn’t have any idea what it was like to be me and had the nerve to impose their cookie-cutter identity onto me. Now I believe I’m being true to my queer identity in Christ and my faith is stronger for it.